I admit it. I am addicted. I am addicted to my smart phone.
My addiction started when I bought a HTC Sensation 4G smart phone from T-Mobile a week ago last Thursday. I have been wanting a smart phone for a long time, but I did not buy one because I had higher priorities (like eating). My old cell phone was a flip phone with two basic functions that I used, making and receiving phone calls and texting (to a small extent). This phone was really all I needed in a phone. I dropped my land line over two years ago, and my cell phone kept me in contact with people everywhere I went. The problem was my old cell phone was starting to have issues. It started to miss phone calls even though the phone was right next to me. My phone would still tell me that I had received a voice message from the person who just tried to call me. Also, my phone started not to match the person's name with the phone number even though that person was in in my contact list.
The problems with my old cell phone was an excuse, a very valid excuse, for me to buy a smart phone. I had heard and read all about the things smart phones can do. I felt like I was missing out on something, that I was behind the times. I saw people engaged with their smart phones ( they were smart phones, not cell phones, because they were not talking on their phones), and I wanted to be doing the same thing because everyone was doing it. I did not want to miss out on the experience they were having. It must be a good experience because they would keep doing whatever they were doing on their smart phones. They would be oblivious to what was going on around them even though they were with other people. They were enjoying themselves. They might not be talking to anyone near them, but they were certainly connected to other people in other places, even to people around the world. They did not have to be at home to do this, nor did they have to bring their laptop with them. They just had to bring a small device that fits into a pocket or small purse, and they can be connected to almost anyone. How cool is that?
My salesperson at the T-Mobile store at the Dulles Town Center did not have any trouble selling this phone to me. You can see why. However, I now realize I have a problem with this new phone. I take this phone everywhere. I not only do that (I did that with my old phone), but I doing something with it all the time. Part of that is the time I am taking to learn how to use the phone. There are so many functions, apps, and widgets on that phone. I have also installed some apps and widgets. I can now check my email on this phone. I access Facebook and Twitter. I look at videos on YouTube. I check my bank balance. I check the standings of golf tournaments. I check the weather forecast. I use the GPS function to help me get somewhere. I do some of these things even when I go to bed (not the GPS part, obviously)..
I now feel like I know something about drug addition. Being addicted to my cell phone is not the same as being addicted to drugs. I am not physically addicted to the phone. I may be mentally addicted to my phone though. I feel better mentally when I am doing something on my phone. It is so much fun. Of course, drug addiction may have a mental component to it as well. Drugs can make you feel better, too. Hopefully, I will not have to go to some organization like AA to get over my addiction. Hopefully, I will get over the newness and excitement of this new toy. I do worry about some people who really do seem to be addicted to their phones or other electronic devices. Being engaged with their device seems to be all they do. I hope this is not creating a society where there is no personal social connection, and all connections are via electronic devices. That is not a society I want to live in.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Making Decisions about the Future
For some reason this past weekend I made two decisions about what I am going to do in the future. I decided what I am going to do when I payoff my car loan two and a quarter years from now. I also decided what kind of condo I want to buy when I move out of my current condo.
In the April 2011 edition of Discover magazine, there is an article on how humans recall their past and how humans think of themselves in the future. Both abilities seem to be performed in the same area of the hippocampus portion of the brain, and these abilities may have appeared when our our ability to speak using language evolved a few hundred thousand years ago. I guess my hippocampus was very active this past weekend.
I find it enjoyable to dream and think about what I might do in the future. I seem to be an optimist and always see the glass half full instead of half empty. Yes, I know I have problems that need to be solved. Not everything in my life is going well. However, not everything is bad. Things could be worse. I am not homeless or starving. I am not unemployed. Thus I feel things will get better. For that reason, I dream about a future that will be better. I dream of a possibility that my problems will be solved and my situation will be better.
Oh, what did I decide this past weekend? After I payoff my car, I will save the money that normally goes to my car payment. Part of that savings will be used for a down payment for a new car with much better gas mileage and a much lower monthly car payment. As for my next condo, I want a two-bedroom, two-bath, one-level condo with a garage and a big enough living room or family room where I can have both my TV and a desk for my laptop (I currently have that kind of living room now). My current condo has only one bedroom, one bath, and one-level, and it does not have a garage. A new condo will have to wait a while. My current condo is underwater, which means it is worth less than what I owe on it.
I may change my mind about these two decisions. Nothing about them is set in stone. That is the fun part about it. There is no reason I can't dream a whole different dream.
In the April 2011 edition of Discover magazine, there is an article on how humans recall their past and how humans think of themselves in the future. Both abilities seem to be performed in the same area of the hippocampus portion of the brain, and these abilities may have appeared when our our ability to speak using language evolved a few hundred thousand years ago. I guess my hippocampus was very active this past weekend.
I find it enjoyable to dream and think about what I might do in the future. I seem to be an optimist and always see the glass half full instead of half empty. Yes, I know I have problems that need to be solved. Not everything in my life is going well. However, not everything is bad. Things could be worse. I am not homeless or starving. I am not unemployed. Thus I feel things will get better. For that reason, I dream about a future that will be better. I dream of a possibility that my problems will be solved and my situation will be better.
Oh, what did I decide this past weekend? After I payoff my car, I will save the money that normally goes to my car payment. Part of that savings will be used for a down payment for a new car with much better gas mileage and a much lower monthly car payment. As for my next condo, I want a two-bedroom, two-bath, one-level condo with a garage and a big enough living room or family room where I can have both my TV and a desk for my laptop (I currently have that kind of living room now). My current condo has only one bedroom, one bath, and one-level, and it does not have a garage. A new condo will have to wait a while. My current condo is underwater, which means it is worth less than what I owe on it.
I may change my mind about these two decisions. Nothing about them is set in stone. That is the fun part about it. There is no reason I can't dream a whole different dream.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Two Weeks of Death and Life
The last two weeks, at least for me, has been full of both death and life.
I mention death first because the news of the last two weeks has been dominated by the death of Osama bin Laden. Of course, everyone knows who he was. He was the worst terrorist and the killer of many people, including many Americans. If anyone deserved to die, he certainly did. As well as killing so many people, he affected the lives of so many friends and relatives is such a negative way that their lives are forever changed despite his death. His death will not bring any of those he killed back.
Yet I did not feel like other people who celebrated his death at Ground Zero, at the White House, or at others places. I did not celebrate his death like they did. Despite what Osama bin Laden did, it did not seem quite right to me to celebrate the death of anyone. Yes, I am glad that he is dead, but at the same time, I do not wish for anyone to die. Perhaps I would feel differently if a friend or relative of mine had been killed by him. I was horrified when so many innocent people died on 9/11. I haven't been affected by the events of 9/11 in such a strong way as people who had so many loses on that day of almost 10 years ago. I did not lose a friend or relative on that day. I have not had to live my life without a parent, spouse, sibling, or friend who died by Osama bin Laden's hand. All my life, I have been taught to celebrate life. I have not felt comfortable in celebrating his death.
At the beginning of this post, I said the last two weeks has been filled by both death and life. The news has been filled by the death of Osama bin Laden. For me, the last two weeks has been filled with life, in particular, my life. Actually more than two weeks ago, I had a mini-stroke in the retina of my left eye. A blood vessel broke in the retina, and my vision in my left eye has been affected. The mini-stroke was caused by high blood pressure. I have made changes to my diet by eating more fruit, drinking tomato juice, and not eating as much of the stuff that is bad for you. I am exercising much more now. I have had a fitness walk five of the last seven days, and as a result, I have walked eleven miles this week. I am on blood pressure medicine, and my blood pressure has gone down to around 120/80. I check my blood pressure twice a day since I bought a blood pressure monitor from Walgreens.
Obviously, this health event has caused me to make changes in my life. I realize that if I really want to keep on living on this earth and continue to have a high quality of life, I am going to have to continue with these changes. I have lost a little weight already, but I am nowhere near the weight I want to be at or need to be at. This is the start of a long process, but I am actually looking forward to where these changes will take me. Last Thursday, I did not have the time to do a fitness walk. I had walked four straight days (2.2 miles each day). As I was walking to my car to run some errands, I could feel that my body wanting to walk faster. My body wanted to do a fitness walk. I had to slow myself down. I felt guilty not doing my fitness walk. Today I did my fitness walk despite the threat of rain. More and more, fitness walking is becoming a part of my life. It is what I do along with teaching. It is what I have to do, along with the other changes, if I want to keep on living. Too bad something drastic had to happen to me to make these changes. I really knew I had to make these changes at some point in my life. Now I know I have no choice. I have to make them.
I mention death first because the news of the last two weeks has been dominated by the death of Osama bin Laden. Of course, everyone knows who he was. He was the worst terrorist and the killer of many people, including many Americans. If anyone deserved to die, he certainly did. As well as killing so many people, he affected the lives of so many friends and relatives is such a negative way that their lives are forever changed despite his death. His death will not bring any of those he killed back.
Yet I did not feel like other people who celebrated his death at Ground Zero, at the White House, or at others places. I did not celebrate his death like they did. Despite what Osama bin Laden did, it did not seem quite right to me to celebrate the death of anyone. Yes, I am glad that he is dead, but at the same time, I do not wish for anyone to die. Perhaps I would feel differently if a friend or relative of mine had been killed by him. I was horrified when so many innocent people died on 9/11. I haven't been affected by the events of 9/11 in such a strong way as people who had so many loses on that day of almost 10 years ago. I did not lose a friend or relative on that day. I have not had to live my life without a parent, spouse, sibling, or friend who died by Osama bin Laden's hand. All my life, I have been taught to celebrate life. I have not felt comfortable in celebrating his death.
At the beginning of this post, I said the last two weeks has been filled by both death and life. The news has been filled by the death of Osama bin Laden. For me, the last two weeks has been filled with life, in particular, my life. Actually more than two weeks ago, I had a mini-stroke in the retina of my left eye. A blood vessel broke in the retina, and my vision in my left eye has been affected. The mini-stroke was caused by high blood pressure. I have made changes to my diet by eating more fruit, drinking tomato juice, and not eating as much of the stuff that is bad for you. I am exercising much more now. I have had a fitness walk five of the last seven days, and as a result, I have walked eleven miles this week. I am on blood pressure medicine, and my blood pressure has gone down to around 120/80. I check my blood pressure twice a day since I bought a blood pressure monitor from Walgreens.
Obviously, this health event has caused me to make changes in my life. I realize that if I really want to keep on living on this earth and continue to have a high quality of life, I am going to have to continue with these changes. I have lost a little weight already, but I am nowhere near the weight I want to be at or need to be at. This is the start of a long process, but I am actually looking forward to where these changes will take me. Last Thursday, I did not have the time to do a fitness walk. I had walked four straight days (2.2 miles each day). As I was walking to my car to run some errands, I could feel that my body wanting to walk faster. My body wanted to do a fitness walk. I had to slow myself down. I felt guilty not doing my fitness walk. Today I did my fitness walk despite the threat of rain. More and more, fitness walking is becoming a part of my life. It is what I do along with teaching. It is what I have to do, along with the other changes, if I want to keep on living. Too bad something drastic had to happen to me to make these changes. I really knew I had to make these changes at some point in my life. Now I know I have no choice. I have to make them.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
We are not Vulcans
I love the Star Trek TV shows and their movies. They portray such a optimistic view of the future. Two of the more fascinating characters on the various Star Trek shows are Spock and T'Pol, two vulcans. Supposedly, Vulcans do not have emotions. However, we do learn that Vulcans do have emotions. They just do a better job of suppressing them. That does not mean that Spock and T'Pol do not express their emotions. They do express them, just not as often or in conflicting abundance.
Yes, we humans do have emotions, and we express them in their many forms all the time. We are moved by beautiful music (I am listening to some beautiful classical music as I write this posting), or we get angry when we hear a politician say something that we disagree with in a fundamental way. Emotions can be a good thing or a bad thing. Anger can make us say to someone something that we really did not mean and which we may regret for a long time. Anger can also motivate us to make meaningful change.
I was watching a video this morning about a person who has made the decision to switch from a PC user to a Mac user. He made this decision after much thought and deliberation. The person who was talking with the person who has made the switch to Apple products (he has bought an iPad and a Apple TV as well) made the comment that PCs are getting so inexpensive, especially compared to Macs, that buying a PC can almost be buying on impulse. Many manufacturers actually count on people to buy on impulse to sell a lot of their products. I certainly have been guilty of that, as has most everyone else.
I have Windows Vista on the laptop that I am using to write this posting. I really want to install Windows 7 on this laptop as Widows 7 is a much better operating system than Windows Vista. My emotions are telling me that I must go to Best Buy today to get Windows 7. It would be so cool to have Windows 7 on my laptop. However, I know that I have higher priority things that need to get fixed or replaced. I have a leaky faucet in my bathtub that must be fixed. I need some new clothes, especially t-shirts and polo shirts which are wearing out. There are other things that are higher priority as well, but I really do not need to mention them. Actually I am not having any problems with Windows Vista if I must be honest with myself. If I am having any problems with it, either I put up with them or ignore them.
Just suffice it to say that emotions are tough to deal with, and we deal with them on a daily basis. Some people wear their emotions on their sleeves. Others are better at hiding their emotions, but that does not mean they do not have a hard time dealing with their emotions. In fact, they tend to have a harder time with their emotions, and their emotions may come out more intensely as a result.
I am glad I have emotions. I enjoy life more because of them. They are a part of who I am. Emotions can make me feel bad as well. However if we did not feel bad at times, we would not appreciate the times when we feel good. We appreciate the warm spring days more when we have had the cold winter days. I am glad I am not a Vulcan.
Yes, we humans do have emotions, and we express them in their many forms all the time. We are moved by beautiful music (I am listening to some beautiful classical music as I write this posting), or we get angry when we hear a politician say something that we disagree with in a fundamental way. Emotions can be a good thing or a bad thing. Anger can make us say to someone something that we really did not mean and which we may regret for a long time. Anger can also motivate us to make meaningful change.
I was watching a video this morning about a person who has made the decision to switch from a PC user to a Mac user. He made this decision after much thought and deliberation. The person who was talking with the person who has made the switch to Apple products (he has bought an iPad and a Apple TV as well) made the comment that PCs are getting so inexpensive, especially compared to Macs, that buying a PC can almost be buying on impulse. Many manufacturers actually count on people to buy on impulse to sell a lot of their products. I certainly have been guilty of that, as has most everyone else.
I have Windows Vista on the laptop that I am using to write this posting. I really want to install Windows 7 on this laptop as Widows 7 is a much better operating system than Windows Vista. My emotions are telling me that I must go to Best Buy today to get Windows 7. It would be so cool to have Windows 7 on my laptop. However, I know that I have higher priority things that need to get fixed or replaced. I have a leaky faucet in my bathtub that must be fixed. I need some new clothes, especially t-shirts and polo shirts which are wearing out. There are other things that are higher priority as well, but I really do not need to mention them. Actually I am not having any problems with Windows Vista if I must be honest with myself. If I am having any problems with it, either I put up with them or ignore them.
Just suffice it to say that emotions are tough to deal with, and we deal with them on a daily basis. Some people wear their emotions on their sleeves. Others are better at hiding their emotions, but that does not mean they do not have a hard time dealing with their emotions. In fact, they tend to have a harder time with their emotions, and their emotions may come out more intensely as a result.
I am glad I have emotions. I enjoy life more because of them. They are a part of who I am. Emotions can make me feel bad as well. However if we did not feel bad at times, we would not appreciate the times when we feel good. We appreciate the warm spring days more when we have had the cold winter days. I am glad I am not a Vulcan.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
We Don't Know How to Drive in This Country
After reading this posting, maybe before even finishing reading this posting, you will classify this posting as a rant. You will probably be right. This posting is a rant. So be it.
I have been wanting to write this post for a couple of weeks, but I just haven't been able to carve out some time to do so. I do a fair amount of driving around the county in my teaching GED classes and tutoring people in math. There are two things that really bug me during my driving. Everyone that drives around here has seen these two things. There is nothing new about it. I just have to get this off my chest.
There are a lot of cars out there that have non-functioning turn signals on the rear ends of cars. I really do not see another reason why so many people make lane changes and turns with no turn signals blinking like mad. I can't believe that these drivers think it is not necessary to let a person in another lane know that they are going to make a change into their lane, or let a person know that they are going to make a turn in front of another car that is behind them. I can't believe that they do not think accidents can happen if notices of a lane change or a turn are not given. I can't believe that they don't care that they may have just cut someone off or they may have just missed being hit in the rear of their car by another car because the car behind did not have enough time to slow down before the turn was made. Non-functioning turn signals must be the cause.
When waiting at a traffic light, why do some drivers stop a car length or so behind the car in front of them? They must not be thinking of what is going on behind them, or they would not leave so much space in front of them. If a right or left turn lane is next to them, they must not realize that other cars behind them could be blocking access to the turn lane because of the space they are leaving in front of them. If they knew they were responsible for someone not being able to make a turn onto another street, they might be embarrassed if they knew that they might be making someone late for a very important appointment. Surely what they are thinking about while sitting at a traffic light would not interfere with being aware of all of their surroundings. Surely they would not want to hinder anyone getting to their destination on time, or make someone waste precious gas while waiting to get in the turn lane.
I don't know why I let these things that drivers do bother me, but I seem to be irritated about it more and more. Maybe I am getting too old for my own good. Maybe I should not worry about it since there is really nothing I can do about it. Maybe there are things I do while driving that irritates other drivers. I do try to turn my turn signal on when I make a lane change or a turn onto another street. I even turn the turn signal on well before I start slowing down to make my turn onto another street. I certainly don't want to be the cause of an accident. I know I am not a perfect driver. No one is. I just wish other drivers were more aware of what their driving actions are doing or not doing to other drivers around them. Just because no accident occurs does not mean what they did is okay. Not being a courteous driver by keeping a driver from getting into a turn lane is not okay. By delaying someone for a even a few seconds may make a big difference to someone. Maybe this is a rant. So be it.
I have been wanting to write this post for a couple of weeks, but I just haven't been able to carve out some time to do so. I do a fair amount of driving around the county in my teaching GED classes and tutoring people in math. There are two things that really bug me during my driving. Everyone that drives around here has seen these two things. There is nothing new about it. I just have to get this off my chest.
There are a lot of cars out there that have non-functioning turn signals on the rear ends of cars. I really do not see another reason why so many people make lane changes and turns with no turn signals blinking like mad. I can't believe that these drivers think it is not necessary to let a person in another lane know that they are going to make a change into their lane, or let a person know that they are going to make a turn in front of another car that is behind them. I can't believe that they do not think accidents can happen if notices of a lane change or a turn are not given. I can't believe that they don't care that they may have just cut someone off or they may have just missed being hit in the rear of their car by another car because the car behind did not have enough time to slow down before the turn was made. Non-functioning turn signals must be the cause.
When waiting at a traffic light, why do some drivers stop a car length or so behind the car in front of them? They must not be thinking of what is going on behind them, or they would not leave so much space in front of them. If a right or left turn lane is next to them, they must not realize that other cars behind them could be blocking access to the turn lane because of the space they are leaving in front of them. If they knew they were responsible for someone not being able to make a turn onto another street, they might be embarrassed if they knew that they might be making someone late for a very important appointment. Surely what they are thinking about while sitting at a traffic light would not interfere with being aware of all of their surroundings. Surely they would not want to hinder anyone getting to their destination on time, or make someone waste precious gas while waiting to get in the turn lane.
I don't know why I let these things that drivers do bother me, but I seem to be irritated about it more and more. Maybe I am getting too old for my own good. Maybe I should not worry about it since there is really nothing I can do about it. Maybe there are things I do while driving that irritates other drivers. I do try to turn my turn signal on when I make a lane change or a turn onto another street. I even turn the turn signal on well before I start slowing down to make my turn onto another street. I certainly don't want to be the cause of an accident. I know I am not a perfect driver. No one is. I just wish other drivers were more aware of what their driving actions are doing or not doing to other drivers around them. Just because no accident occurs does not mean what they did is okay. Not being a courteous driver by keeping a driver from getting into a turn lane is not okay. By delaying someone for a even a few seconds may make a big difference to someone. Maybe this is a rant. So be it.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
I Love to Sing
I love to sing. It is one of the things I do that make me the person that I am. I have been singing almost all of life. I remember singing in kindergarten the song Heart of My Heart. I liked the song so much that one time I got up at a restaurant where there was someone playing a piano. I asked him if he would play that song while I sang it in front of everyone there. I would not dare do that today, but kids have no fear, or maybe I just didn't know any better. I don't think I knew all the words to the song. I would have not made it to American Idol.
In third grade I joined my first choir, the Cadet Choir, at my church. In school, they would sometimes let me sing a solo. I was in the youth church choir starting in seventh grade through senior high, and I sang some solos in church as well. Now don't start thinking that I am, or was, a great singer. I am not a great singer, but sometimes I do have my moments.
As an adult, I sang in church choirs, and I sang in the Manassas Choral Society (they no longer exist) and in the Manassas Community Chorale. They let me sing solos as well and in small groups. I really enjoy singing in small groups where just a few singers are making music together. I like the team aspects of singing in a small group. You must blend together to make a good sound. There can be no divas in a small group.
I am not singing with any choir or group right now. I have had an issue with my hearing this year, and I have had to drop out of my church choir, the Trinity Singers, who sing at the 8:30 service at Trinity Episcopal Church in Old Town Manassas. Let me explain what happened.
First of all, I am completely deaf in my left ear. My hearing has been that way all of my life, probably from birth. I have never made a big deal of it. I actually have been more embarrassed by it, so I have always tried to hide it by having people be on my right side. When singing with others, I make sure everyone is on my right side. My hearing in my right ear is not 100% either, but it is good enough (I know one or two people who might debate that). As a result, I usually do not have a problem hearing someone unless they are on my left side or are speaking away from me.
Last May my church choir was rehearsing in the sanctuary when the organist hit a couple of notes on the organ really loud. He did it by mistake, but the result was I started to have hearing problems in my right ear. There was a roaring in my ear, and sounds started to sound distorted. It was like I was missing some frequencies. I finally went to an audiologist to have my hearing tested. She found that I had some low frequency loss. She recommended that I see an ear, nose, and throat doctor so that an MRI of the ear could be done in order to determine perhaps the cause of the hearing loss and the roaring. I was able to get a prescription for the MRI, but I did not get the MRI done right away because I do not have health insurance.
In September, my hearing started to improve. The roaring became less and less, and the distortion started to decrease. One Saturday morning I woke up to find my hearing was back to normal. There was no roaring nor distortion. I told my audiologist about the improvement, and she told me to wait a few weeks before making another appointment to have my hearing tested again. Meanwhile, I did not rejoin the choir, but I continued to go to the 8:30 service. I just stayed in the back of the church so that the music, especially the organ, and other sounds were not so loud.
However, I had a setback. At the 8:30 service one Sunday, the organist hit a loud note on the organ, and I started to have the same problems with my hearing. I was not so worried this time. My hearing had come back before, and I trusted that it would come back again. I made one change though. I quit going to the 8:30 service, and now I am going to the 9:45 service where the piano is played only and the organ is not played. My hearing has indeed come back again, but I am being very careful not to be around loud noises. I miss being in the church choir with my fellow singers, but I cannot risk losing my hearing. I can go without being able to hear in one ear, but not in both ears.
When I think about it, it is amazing that I am a singer at all. Even at my best, my hearing is just okay. I probably miss some sounds that I am not aware of. I do have a tendency to sing louder than I should. I may do that to compensate for my hearing. Over the last few years, I think I have done a better job of not singing so loud. When I sing a solo, I will sometimes sing a little loud, which makes my pitch go a little sharp. I have to concentrate on not singing loud, and I have to realize that I do not have to sing loud for people to hear me.
I do not know what I am going to do about singing again. I certainly cannot sing when the organ is being played. Even though there is no organ playing at the 9:45 church service, I still am sitting in the back of the church. I sing along with songs on my CDs or songs being played on the radio, but that is not the same as singing with others in a choir or a small group. I love to sing, but I also love to hear. I am very thankful that I can hear. My singing with others will just have to be on hold.
In third grade I joined my first choir, the Cadet Choir, at my church. In school, they would sometimes let me sing a solo. I was in the youth church choir starting in seventh grade through senior high, and I sang some solos in church as well. Now don't start thinking that I am, or was, a great singer. I am not a great singer, but sometimes I do have my moments.
As an adult, I sang in church choirs, and I sang in the Manassas Choral Society (they no longer exist) and in the Manassas Community Chorale. They let me sing solos as well and in small groups. I really enjoy singing in small groups where just a few singers are making music together. I like the team aspects of singing in a small group. You must blend together to make a good sound. There can be no divas in a small group.
I am not singing with any choir or group right now. I have had an issue with my hearing this year, and I have had to drop out of my church choir, the Trinity Singers, who sing at the 8:30 service at Trinity Episcopal Church in Old Town Manassas. Let me explain what happened.
First of all, I am completely deaf in my left ear. My hearing has been that way all of my life, probably from birth. I have never made a big deal of it. I actually have been more embarrassed by it, so I have always tried to hide it by having people be on my right side. When singing with others, I make sure everyone is on my right side. My hearing in my right ear is not 100% either, but it is good enough (I know one or two people who might debate that). As a result, I usually do not have a problem hearing someone unless they are on my left side or are speaking away from me.
Last May my church choir was rehearsing in the sanctuary when the organist hit a couple of notes on the organ really loud. He did it by mistake, but the result was I started to have hearing problems in my right ear. There was a roaring in my ear, and sounds started to sound distorted. It was like I was missing some frequencies. I finally went to an audiologist to have my hearing tested. She found that I had some low frequency loss. She recommended that I see an ear, nose, and throat doctor so that an MRI of the ear could be done in order to determine perhaps the cause of the hearing loss and the roaring. I was able to get a prescription for the MRI, but I did not get the MRI done right away because I do not have health insurance.
In September, my hearing started to improve. The roaring became less and less, and the distortion started to decrease. One Saturday morning I woke up to find my hearing was back to normal. There was no roaring nor distortion. I told my audiologist about the improvement, and she told me to wait a few weeks before making another appointment to have my hearing tested again. Meanwhile, I did not rejoin the choir, but I continued to go to the 8:30 service. I just stayed in the back of the church so that the music, especially the organ, and other sounds were not so loud.
However, I had a setback. At the 8:30 service one Sunday, the organist hit a loud note on the organ, and I started to have the same problems with my hearing. I was not so worried this time. My hearing had come back before, and I trusted that it would come back again. I made one change though. I quit going to the 8:30 service, and now I am going to the 9:45 service where the piano is played only and the organ is not played. My hearing has indeed come back again, but I am being very careful not to be around loud noises. I miss being in the church choir with my fellow singers, but I cannot risk losing my hearing. I can go without being able to hear in one ear, but not in both ears.
When I think about it, it is amazing that I am a singer at all. Even at my best, my hearing is just okay. I probably miss some sounds that I am not aware of. I do have a tendency to sing louder than I should. I may do that to compensate for my hearing. Over the last few years, I think I have done a better job of not singing so loud. When I sing a solo, I will sometimes sing a little loud, which makes my pitch go a little sharp. I have to concentrate on not singing loud, and I have to realize that I do not have to sing loud for people to hear me.
I do not know what I am going to do about singing again. I certainly cannot sing when the organ is being played. Even though there is no organ playing at the 9:45 church service, I still am sitting in the back of the church. I sing along with songs on my CDs or songs being played on the radio, but that is not the same as singing with others in a choir or a small group. I love to sing, but I also love to hear. I am very thankful that I can hear. My singing with others will just have to be on hold.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I am Changing Lives
As you may know from reading my previous posts, I am a GED teacher. I help people get their GED diplomas. This week I found out that two more of my students from my GED Math Only Class took the GED test this past weekend and passed. That means at least five students that I know of from that class have earned their GEDs. That certainly makes me feel good, but this will have a much greater impact to the lives of these students.
One of these students who passed the GED test this past weekend has been working to get his GED for seven years. His father once told him that he was not smart enough to amount to anything. Despite this and a lot of other obstacles, he did not stop going to classes, and he kept on working to get his GED. He has always wanted to be a mechanic, and now he can get the training he needs to be a mechanic. He has other paths he can also take. He can get a better paying job, or he can go onto college. With his GED in hand, he now has choices in life.
The other student who passed the GED test this past weekend came to my GED Math Only Class Tuesday night with her two children to tell me that she passed the GED tests. She now wants to go onto college. She also now has choices of what to study and and what she wants to do for a career. She has choices in life.
What better job can one have than a job that impacts people's lives in a positive way. By helping them obtain the knowledge that enables them to have choices in their lives, I am having a positive impact on their families and the community as well. I would have to look hard to find another job that does the same thing. I also enjoy teaching them and working with them. I will not get rich doing this, but I am rewarded in so many other ways. I feel very fortunate to be making a difference.
One of these students who passed the GED test this past weekend has been working to get his GED for seven years. His father once told him that he was not smart enough to amount to anything. Despite this and a lot of other obstacles, he did not stop going to classes, and he kept on working to get his GED. He has always wanted to be a mechanic, and now he can get the training he needs to be a mechanic. He has other paths he can also take. He can get a better paying job, or he can go onto college. With his GED in hand, he now has choices in life.
The other student who passed the GED test this past weekend came to my GED Math Only Class Tuesday night with her two children to tell me that she passed the GED tests. She now wants to go onto college. She also now has choices of what to study and and what she wants to do for a career. She has choices in life.
What better job can one have than a job that impacts people's lives in a positive way. By helping them obtain the knowledge that enables them to have choices in their lives, I am having a positive impact on their families and the community as well. I would have to look hard to find another job that does the same thing. I also enjoy teaching them and working with them. I will not get rich doing this, but I am rewarded in so many other ways. I feel very fortunate to be making a difference.
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