I really have known for a long time that I am an introvert, but it wasn't until this week that I have come to know better what that really means and how that relates to the kind of person I am. This week I read the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain. This book has really crystallized for me why I do the things I do and why I relate to others the way I do. I now understand better that it is okay that I am an introvert and that there is nothing wrong with me being an introvert. As a matter of fact, Susan Cain says in her book that some of our greatest achievers like "Eleanor Roosevelt, Al Gore, Warren Buffett, Gandhi-and Rosa Parks" are/were introverts. If they had not been introverts, they may have not been able to perform those accomplishments. I am certainly not in their league, but I think I might not have done the good things I have accomplished if I had not been an introvert.
What kind of person is an introvert? According to Susan Cain, an introvert is a person who does not like a lot of stimulation. On the other hand, an extrovert requires a lot of stimulation. I do like to be in quiet places. My favorite time of day is when I get up in the morning to drink my morning coffee and read the Washington Post on my Nook with classical music in the background. Right now as I write this blog posting, I am drinking another cup of coffee and am listening to classical music, and I feel happy doing this. I only like to go out with one or two people. If I am with a group of people, I tend to talk with people on a one on one basis. I also tend to work on one task at a time where I can devote my concentration on the best. I do not like to multitask. I also do not like confrontation. I tend to freeze when someone confronts me. All of these things I like and dislike are traits of introverts. Certainly this is not a complete list of introvert traits, but I think you get the idea of why I am an introvert.
Sometimes I have to be an extrovert, at least in some aspects. When I was a teacher at Stonewall Jackson High School in Prince William County, Virginia, I quickly had to learn how to confront students when they were misbehaving in class. When I worked at IBM, I had to learn how to run meetings, both department meetings when I was a manager and customer meetings when I worked in the program office. In my current job as a GED teacher at the Adult Detention Center (ADC) in Manassas and the ADC Liaison between the ADC and the Adult Learning Center, I am the master of ceremony at the GED graduation ceremony that we have 3 times a year. I have to keep this event moving along, and I even have to give a short speech at the beginning of the ceremony. I did not want to be the ADC Liaison because of what I would have to do at these graduations, but I decided to accept the job anyway. I knew it would be a challenge for me, but I also knew I needed that challenge in order to grow more as a teacher and as a person.
Now that I understand better what kind of person I am, I will try to learn more about what an introvert is and how I can use this knowledge to become a better person. Hopefully, it will also help me know when I need to be an extrovert and how to do so when the situation calls for it. I think that will help me have an even richer life.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
New Year Resolutions?
Well, it is that time of year. Time to make New Year Resolutions. A lot of people go through this ritual every year. We recognize that we need to make changes in our lives, and the new year offers a new beginning of sorts. I use to make New Year Resolutions along with everyone else. Doing so was almost a tradition.
If you get my drift, I haven't been making New Year Resolutions in quite some time. I always had trouble keeping them. I would get off track, get discouraged, and then forget about them. I probably made my resolutions too lofty, too hard to obtain. Maybe I would resolve to lose 50 pounds. A better resolution should have been to loose one pound a week, both an easier resolution to meet and one that takes much less time to meet. Knowing that does not mean I am going to make better New Year Resolutions this year, although I probably should. To be honest, I have a fear that I would be just setting myself up for failure, again. I don't want to put myself through that. The thing is I would feel so good about myself if I succeeded with a resolution. Once you do succeed at one, you might be inspired to make another resolution. You then may start a positive cycle of successful resolutions. The sky would be the limit. The hard part is taking that first step, making that first resolution that could result in making a whole new life for yourself. That is the dilemma I am facing. Should I not make a resolution, and avoid failure, or should I make a resolution, risk failure, and give myself an opportunity to succeed? What I end up doing will make this year a very interesting one for me.
If you get my drift, I haven't been making New Year Resolutions in quite some time. I always had trouble keeping them. I would get off track, get discouraged, and then forget about them. I probably made my resolutions too lofty, too hard to obtain. Maybe I would resolve to lose 50 pounds. A better resolution should have been to loose one pound a week, both an easier resolution to meet and one that takes much less time to meet. Knowing that does not mean I am going to make better New Year Resolutions this year, although I probably should. To be honest, I have a fear that I would be just setting myself up for failure, again. I don't want to put myself through that. The thing is I would feel so good about myself if I succeeded with a resolution. Once you do succeed at one, you might be inspired to make another resolution. You then may start a positive cycle of successful resolutions. The sky would be the limit. The hard part is taking that first step, making that first resolution that could result in making a whole new life for yourself. That is the dilemma I am facing. Should I not make a resolution, and avoid failure, or should I make a resolution, risk failure, and give myself an opportunity to succeed? What I end up doing will make this year a very interesting one for me.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Are You Going to Watch the Republican and/or Democratic Conventions?
The national conventions for the Republican Party and Democratic Party will be going on these next two weeks. The Republicans will have first crack at getting the attention of the nation. The Democrats will follow suite the next week. My question of the day is, will you be watching on TV either of the conventions?
I remember as a kid that I hated it when they came on TV. Thank goodness they only came on once every four years. All of my favorite shows were not on, and I did not know what was going on with these people. There was a lot of talking going on, there were a lot of cheering (and some booing), and sometimes, there were lots of balloons. How boring!
As I got older as a teenager and beyond, I became to better understand what was going on. Each party was trying to decide who they wanted to run for president. Sometimes it was just one party who was trying to make that decision, because the other party already knew who they wanted to run for president since that person was already president. For example, in 1964, President Johnson was already president, and he was a Democrat. The Republicans had to decide who they wanted to run. If my memory serves me well, Barry Goldwater and Nelson Rockefeller were the primary candidates. Goldwater was more conservative than Rockefeller, and he was the one nominated.
The various candidates ran in various primaries, but it was a rare event, if ever, if one candidate won enough primary delegates to have enough votes to qualify as the nominee ahead of the convention. Thus the nominee was determined during the convention. It would be up to the delegates who the nominee would be. A lot of back room meetings were held, and a lot of deals were made. Sometimes a dark horse candidate came from behind and became the nominee. Sometimes many rounds of votes had to be taken before a candidate had a majority of votes. Candidates did not usually become the nominee on the first ballot.
In 1968, both political parties had to select a nominee since President Johnson decided not to run again because of the opposition to the Viet Nam War. (In case you do not know, Johnson became president after the assassination of President Kennedy in 1963. Johnson was reelected president by a landslide over Goldwater in 1964.). Richard Nixon was the Republican nominee at the convention in Miami, if I am not mistaken. The Democratic convention was held in Chicago, and it was a very contentious convention. There were riots in the streets of Chicago, and the delegates themselves were very divided, mostly over the Viet Nam War. In the end, Hubert Humphrey became the nominee. He was the vice-president under Johnson It certainly was not boring TV. I did not mind that my favorite shows were not on.
Now we have changed the process on how the nominees are selected. More primaries occur in various states, many debates are held, and thus the nominee is determined usually before the convention. This year Mitt Romney secured the Republication nomination well before the convention. He even has already selected someone to run with him for vice-president, Paul Ryan. That determination used to be made during the convention. Thus there is hardly any drama during the political conventions. The nominees are already determined. There might be a small fight over a platform issue, but nothing else. The only thing of interest might be the nominee's acceptance speech. The nominee might say something then about his vision for the future, both for the campaign and for when the person might be president.
Thus to answer my own question, I do not think I will be watching much of either convention on TV. There should not be any drama to get excited over unless something very unexpected happens, and that would not be a good thing. The real drama will be the campaign itself and the election itself. It looks like it will be a very close race for the presidency. We might not know who the next president will be until the wee hours of the morning. That is drama I just don't want the kind of drama that occurred in 2000. We did not know who won until several days after the election, and that decision was not made by the people. It was made by the Supreme Court of the U.S. No one should want that, or anything like it, to happen again.
I remember as a kid that I hated it when they came on TV. Thank goodness they only came on once every four years. All of my favorite shows were not on, and I did not know what was going on with these people. There was a lot of talking going on, there were a lot of cheering (and some booing), and sometimes, there were lots of balloons. How boring!
As I got older as a teenager and beyond, I became to better understand what was going on. Each party was trying to decide who they wanted to run for president. Sometimes it was just one party who was trying to make that decision, because the other party already knew who they wanted to run for president since that person was already president. For example, in 1964, President Johnson was already president, and he was a Democrat. The Republicans had to decide who they wanted to run. If my memory serves me well, Barry Goldwater and Nelson Rockefeller were the primary candidates. Goldwater was more conservative than Rockefeller, and he was the one nominated.
The various candidates ran in various primaries, but it was a rare event, if ever, if one candidate won enough primary delegates to have enough votes to qualify as the nominee ahead of the convention. Thus the nominee was determined during the convention. It would be up to the delegates who the nominee would be. A lot of back room meetings were held, and a lot of deals were made. Sometimes a dark horse candidate came from behind and became the nominee. Sometimes many rounds of votes had to be taken before a candidate had a majority of votes. Candidates did not usually become the nominee on the first ballot.
In 1968, both political parties had to select a nominee since President Johnson decided not to run again because of the opposition to the Viet Nam War. (In case you do not know, Johnson became president after the assassination of President Kennedy in 1963. Johnson was reelected president by a landslide over Goldwater in 1964.). Richard Nixon was the Republican nominee at the convention in Miami, if I am not mistaken. The Democratic convention was held in Chicago, and it was a very contentious convention. There were riots in the streets of Chicago, and the delegates themselves were very divided, mostly over the Viet Nam War. In the end, Hubert Humphrey became the nominee. He was the vice-president under Johnson It certainly was not boring TV. I did not mind that my favorite shows were not on.
Now we have changed the process on how the nominees are selected. More primaries occur in various states, many debates are held, and thus the nominee is determined usually before the convention. This year Mitt Romney secured the Republication nomination well before the convention. He even has already selected someone to run with him for vice-president, Paul Ryan. That determination used to be made during the convention. Thus there is hardly any drama during the political conventions. The nominees are already determined. There might be a small fight over a platform issue, but nothing else. The only thing of interest might be the nominee's acceptance speech. The nominee might say something then about his vision for the future, both for the campaign and for when the person might be president.
Thus to answer my own question, I do not think I will be watching much of either convention on TV. There should not be any drama to get excited over unless something very unexpected happens, and that would not be a good thing. The real drama will be the campaign itself and the election itself. It looks like it will be a very close race for the presidency. We might not know who the next president will be until the wee hours of the morning. That is drama I just don't want the kind of drama that occurred in 2000. We did not know who won until several days after the election, and that decision was not made by the people. It was made by the Supreme Court of the U.S. No one should want that, or anything like it, to happen again.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Dreaming, An Activity We All Do
Dreaming is something we all do. We dream at night whether or not we remember that we did dream after waking up the next morning. We daydream as well during the day (isn't that what daydream means?), but we may not daydream everyday. Last week, especially last Friday, this whole country did a lot of dreaming, both day and night. We all dreamed about winning $656 million from the Mega-Million lottery.
Last week, along with everyone else, I spent $5.00 playing the lottery. I dreamed, along with everyone else, about what I would do if I won the lottery. I dreamed about paying off my debts. I dreamed about buying various things. I knew I couldn't spend all that money on myself, so I thought about how I could put some of that money to use helping others. I dreamed about traveling to various places. I don't think any of my dreaming was vastly different from what other people were dreaming about last week. That was one aspect that made last week a shared experience. We all were dreaming about winning that huge jackpot. The dreaming was fun to do, and it was fun talking to others about what we might do with all that money. For a little while, it was fun forgetting our troubles and thinking about what we would do if we won.
While it was fun dreaming about winning the lottery, I also was aware that winning the lottery could be a bad thing in the long run. There are too many stories of people being worse off after winning the lottery. They would spend the money foolishly and end up in worse financial shape. It would be hard to resist going into a spending frenzy with all that money, especially if you have gone without for a long time. The smart thing to do if you win the lottery is to seek financial advice. You can still "reward" yourself after winning, but you want to set something up so that the money will last you the rest of your life. I think that is one reason some people do not claim their lottery winnings right away. They need time to setup a financial plan so that the money will last, and they need to do that with someone they trust. That does not happen overnight. I hope that is what I would do if I ever won.
Last night I played the Mega-Million lottery again with only $3.00 this time even though the jackpot was just $20 million (just?) . Why did I do that? I have an almost zero chance of winning, but it is zero chance of winning if I don't play. I knew I would not win, but I had fun thinking and dreaming about the prospect of winning. It was a form of entertainment, and I enjoyed doing it. I never spend of lot of money on the lottery. I usually spend just $5.00, and I only do that occasionally. As long as I don't spend a lot of money on the lottery tickets, I don't see the harm in playing. It is good to have something to look forward to, even if it is just a dream.
Last week, along with everyone else, I spent $5.00 playing the lottery. I dreamed, along with everyone else, about what I would do if I won the lottery. I dreamed about paying off my debts. I dreamed about buying various things. I knew I couldn't spend all that money on myself, so I thought about how I could put some of that money to use helping others. I dreamed about traveling to various places. I don't think any of my dreaming was vastly different from what other people were dreaming about last week. That was one aspect that made last week a shared experience. We all were dreaming about winning that huge jackpot. The dreaming was fun to do, and it was fun talking to others about what we might do with all that money. For a little while, it was fun forgetting our troubles and thinking about what we would do if we won.
While it was fun dreaming about winning the lottery, I also was aware that winning the lottery could be a bad thing in the long run. There are too many stories of people being worse off after winning the lottery. They would spend the money foolishly and end up in worse financial shape. It would be hard to resist going into a spending frenzy with all that money, especially if you have gone without for a long time. The smart thing to do if you win the lottery is to seek financial advice. You can still "reward" yourself after winning, but you want to set something up so that the money will last you the rest of your life. I think that is one reason some people do not claim their lottery winnings right away. They need time to setup a financial plan so that the money will last, and they need to do that with someone they trust. That does not happen overnight. I hope that is what I would do if I ever won.
Last night I played the Mega-Million lottery again with only $3.00 this time even though the jackpot was just $20 million (just?) . Why did I do that? I have an almost zero chance of winning, but it is zero chance of winning if I don't play. I knew I would not win, but I had fun thinking and dreaming about the prospect of winning. It was a form of entertainment, and I enjoyed doing it. I never spend of lot of money on the lottery. I usually spend just $5.00, and I only do that occasionally. As long as I don't spend a lot of money on the lottery tickets, I don't see the harm in playing. It is good to have something to look forward to, even if it is just a dream.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Change for an Older Guy
I love using Bounty paper towels. I have used this brand of paper towels for many years. They are very useful for many things around the house, or in my case, around my condo. I would recommend them to anyone.
Then one day they started offering paper towels that you could tear in half sizes as well as whole-size paper towels. Why would I want those kind of paper towels? I don't want a paper towel with a perforation in the middle that makes it easy to tear in half. Why would I use a half-sized paper towel? I have always used full-size paper towels to cleanup the spills that I always make. However, Bounty was not giving me much of choice. All I could see on the Bounty shelves were the paper towels you could easily tear in half. What was I to do.
But I started to find uses for the half-sized paper towels. I put the spoon I use to stir my cup of coffee on a half-sized paper towel. I put my spatula or my big spoon I use when I am cooking on a half-sized paper towel. After cooking bacon in my microwave, I clean the bottom of my microwave with a half-sized paper towel. I even use a one and one-half paper towel when I clean the white board of a classroom. When I use a half-sized paper towel, and it does the job of a whole paper towel, I am saving paper and money by doing so. I have grown to like this kind of paper towel. I would not be happy if this kind of paper towel went away.
Too my horror, it looks like the unthinkable has happened. A couple of weeks ago when I went to the paper towel aisle in the grocery store, and all I saw on the Bounty shelves were the full-size paper towels only. The half-sized paper towels were no where to be seen. My favorite paper towels were gone.
Why did this terrible thing happen? I don't go to the grocery store every day to see if my favorite paper towels are back (maybe I should). Maybe they were out of those kind of paper towels temporarily and had to fill the shelves with the full-size paper towels. Maybe they were not making enough money on the half-sized paper towels and figured they could make more money on the full-sized type. It seems so cruel to get someone used to using a product in a new way, and then ripping that away. I have become dependent on using half-sized paper towels. I miss them. I am sad that they seem to be gone from my life.
I know you are thinking now that I have really flipped. He is not really upset over a paper towel, is he? No, I am not that upset. However, the older you are, the harder it is to accept change. I had accepted change when I started to like using half-sized paper towels. Now I have to go back to using the old-styled paper towels, especially when I was saving money and paper using the new-styled ones? Oh, what a cruel world this can be!
Then one day they started offering paper towels that you could tear in half sizes as well as whole-size paper towels. Why would I want those kind of paper towels? I don't want a paper towel with a perforation in the middle that makes it easy to tear in half. Why would I use a half-sized paper towel? I have always used full-size paper towels to cleanup the spills that I always make. However, Bounty was not giving me much of choice. All I could see on the Bounty shelves were the paper towels you could easily tear in half. What was I to do.
But I started to find uses for the half-sized paper towels. I put the spoon I use to stir my cup of coffee on a half-sized paper towel. I put my spatula or my big spoon I use when I am cooking on a half-sized paper towel. After cooking bacon in my microwave, I clean the bottom of my microwave with a half-sized paper towel. I even use a one and one-half paper towel when I clean the white board of a classroom. When I use a half-sized paper towel, and it does the job of a whole paper towel, I am saving paper and money by doing so. I have grown to like this kind of paper towel. I would not be happy if this kind of paper towel went away.
Too my horror, it looks like the unthinkable has happened. A couple of weeks ago when I went to the paper towel aisle in the grocery store, and all I saw on the Bounty shelves were the full-size paper towels only. The half-sized paper towels were no where to be seen. My favorite paper towels were gone.
Why did this terrible thing happen? I don't go to the grocery store every day to see if my favorite paper towels are back (maybe I should). Maybe they were out of those kind of paper towels temporarily and had to fill the shelves with the full-size paper towels. Maybe they were not making enough money on the half-sized paper towels and figured they could make more money on the full-sized type. It seems so cruel to get someone used to using a product in a new way, and then ripping that away. I have become dependent on using half-sized paper towels. I miss them. I am sad that they seem to be gone from my life.
I know you are thinking now that I have really flipped. He is not really upset over a paper towel, is he? No, I am not that upset. However, the older you are, the harder it is to accept change. I had accepted change when I started to like using half-sized paper towels. Now I have to go back to using the old-styled paper towels, especially when I was saving money and paper using the new-styled ones? Oh, what a cruel world this can be!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
A Sad Weekend
I am saddened this weekend by the loss of two famous people. Whitney Houston died yesterday afternoon, cause unknown. Glen Campbell has not died yet, but he is dying slowly of Alzheimer's disease.
Whitney Houston had a fantastic singing voice, and she was beautiful as well. She has left behind an incomparable singing legacy, and she even performed well as an actress in the movie "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner, a ground breaking movie at the time because of the interracial relationship portrayed in the movie. Yet she paid a heavy price for her fame and talent. Perhaps if she had a little less talent and a little less fame, she would have been more able to pay the price for her talent and fame, and Whitney Houston would still be alive today. It is sad when someone dies so young (she was only 48 when she passed after all) and with such a talent, but it is even sadder to think what the drugs and alcohol did to her, that they caused her to lose that talent, and maybe ultimately, her life.
Glen Campbell has a great talent of his own, a talent for singing and for playing the guitar. According to CBS Sunday Morning, Glen Campbell played guitar on many recordings, including at least one recording of Frank Sinatra. He even was a Beach Boy for 6 months before making records of his own and hosting a TV show for 4 years. He has had many hit songs, and he acted with John Wayne in "True Grit". He is 75 now, and last year he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Not only is there no cure for this disease, but it robs a person of who they are, their ability to remember things and remember people. It robs people of their personality. Glen Campbell is on his last concert tour, and his last album is now out. Three of his children play in his band, including his daughter who helps him stay on track, especially during the concerts. His life is slowly ebbing away, and it is so sad to see that happen to Glen Campbell. It is so sad to see that happen to anyone.
Whitney Houston had a fantastic singing voice, and she was beautiful as well. She has left behind an incomparable singing legacy, and she even performed well as an actress in the movie "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner, a ground breaking movie at the time because of the interracial relationship portrayed in the movie. Yet she paid a heavy price for her fame and talent. Perhaps if she had a little less talent and a little less fame, she would have been more able to pay the price for her talent and fame, and Whitney Houston would still be alive today. It is sad when someone dies so young (she was only 48 when she passed after all) and with such a talent, but it is even sadder to think what the drugs and alcohol did to her, that they caused her to lose that talent, and maybe ultimately, her life.
Glen Campbell has a great talent of his own, a talent for singing and for playing the guitar. According to CBS Sunday Morning, Glen Campbell played guitar on many recordings, including at least one recording of Frank Sinatra. He even was a Beach Boy for 6 months before making records of his own and hosting a TV show for 4 years. He has had many hit songs, and he acted with John Wayne in "True Grit". He is 75 now, and last year he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Not only is there no cure for this disease, but it robs a person of who they are, their ability to remember things and remember people. It robs people of their personality. Glen Campbell is on his last concert tour, and his last album is now out. Three of his children play in his band, including his daughter who helps him stay on track, especially during the concerts. His life is slowly ebbing away, and it is so sad to see that happen to Glen Campbell. It is so sad to see that happen to anyone.
Friday, February 3, 2012
No Man is an Island
No Man is an Island is the title of a poem by John Donne, an English poet who lived from 1572 to 1631. Why am I bringing this up? I am not known for reading poetry, or for knowing anything about poetry. That is usually left to a fellow blogger Dan Verner, who is a retired English teacher. However in one of my GED classes yesterday, the subject about being connected came up, and John Donne's famous poem came to my mind. I remembered studying about it in high school, which is quite a feat for me at my age. It is a short poem, but a very meaningful one. So I recite it here.
No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as a manor of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
As I see it, this poem is saying we are all connected to each other, that when we lose someone, we are in someway diminished. A part of ourselves is gone, never to be retrieved. Even if we do not know the person, we are affected by the death of this person, whether we realize it or not. If a church bell is tolling for that person, it tolls for us as well. A part of us has also died.
I am not sure when John Donne wrote this poem, in the 16th or 17th century, but obviously there was not much technology around then, not to today's standards. I think he would be more than amazed to see the technology of today. He would be amazed to see how connected we are through our social media of Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and the like. But are we really connected in the way John Donne would like us to be? Do we feel the lose of someone on the other part of the world, or the lose of someone across the street? We still fight each other. We still hotly debate the issues of the day, but we debate in a personal and hurtful way. We have the "my way or the highway" attitude.
I wish people realized how connected we are to each other, not by our technology, but in a spiritual sense. We are all human beings, and we have more things that are the same than are different. If we focused more on the things we hold in common, perhaps we would get along a little better. That may be a lot to ask, but if we don't ask, it won't happen.
No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as a manor of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
As I see it, this poem is saying we are all connected to each other, that when we lose someone, we are in someway diminished. A part of ourselves is gone, never to be retrieved. Even if we do not know the person, we are affected by the death of this person, whether we realize it or not. If a church bell is tolling for that person, it tolls for us as well. A part of us has also died.
I am not sure when John Donne wrote this poem, in the 16th or 17th century, but obviously there was not much technology around then, not to today's standards. I think he would be more than amazed to see the technology of today. He would be amazed to see how connected we are through our social media of Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and the like. But are we really connected in the way John Donne would like us to be? Do we feel the lose of someone on the other part of the world, or the lose of someone across the street? We still fight each other. We still hotly debate the issues of the day, but we debate in a personal and hurtful way. We have the "my way or the highway" attitude.
I wish people realized how connected we are to each other, not by our technology, but in a spiritual sense. We are all human beings, and we have more things that are the same than are different. If we focused more on the things we hold in common, perhaps we would get along a little better. That may be a lot to ask, but if we don't ask, it won't happen.
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